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02 November 2011 @ 01:07 pm
Although the novel is finished, I've decided to expand it a little further. The editing has kinda inspired me to think of new scenes and little plots to add in, so I'm going to crack on with those today. I am really happy with how it's going, and have surprised myself. Writing is amazing. I have discovered that I really really enjoy my own company, and that's strange, because I've always hated it. I haven't taken my anti-depressants for three weeks now, and I haven't crashed and burnt yet. I feel suddenly more grounded, more content and capable of survival. I think the novel has been the support and happiness that I need. I almost feel like a void in my life has been filled. I've spent years searching for something that fulfills me, and makes me feel happy to get out of bed every day, and this is it. I sent a few samples off to my literary agent, who has described my narrative voice as '...haunting. This woman speaks from the raw savagery of human nature.'

I think that could be good, but who knows? I'm on a roll, baby! Who knew that writing about ancient queens and revenge could be so fulfilling?!

Current Mood: impressedimpressed
Current Music: Kinda Outta Luck, by Lana Del Rey
10 May 2009 @ 09:25 pm
Thank you to  italian_dream for this amazing banner! <3
Dear all!
Please respect my wishes and comment to be added. I'm quite a private person, but very opinionated too.
This journal is R-Rated for sexual references and general indecency!

Other than that, I can't wait to meet you all!
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Wow, I havent posted in a long, long time...blimey...

*is ashamed*

I feel like I'm going mad *laughs* My laptop decided to break on me. Completely. It crackled, made some rattling sound, and then stopped working...so I've been without a computer for a few months....grrr! *shakes fist* So frustrating, when you have dissertations and essays due, and no way of writing them up :( I'm also recovering from glandular fever, which is sickening :( Was admitted to hospital with a swollen throat, fever, and aches in all the wrong places :/ It would have been fine, but they gave me terrible medication that made me feel worse! It totally mixed with my anti-depressants, and made me feel sick sick sick :/ And...as if things couldn't get any worse...my younger sisters were taken into foster care last week....yes, I feel like I'm going mad...I'm emotionally exhausted at the moment....
Current Location: Bedroom
Current Music: Radio1
22 March 2006 @ 11:44 am


This journal is locked. 
Not because I'm a hermit, nor because I'm ashamed of any particular content. It is rather
an insight into my thoughts, and I'd prefer to know who was reading
However, many of my entries are R-Rated. I have a kinky obsession with courtesans, pirates, and knights of the crusade. So yes, there is the potential for naughty thoughts. 
If you would like to read, just comment! You're likely to find book and film reviews, creative drabbles on human emotion, and little ficlets from various fandoms!
Happy reading!

04 March 2006 @ 09:07 pm

I have every right to watch the man I love, even if he hates it. Like now. He has the most infuriating ability to disarm me with a smile, and I dislike my own 
weakness. Just one muscle twitch can submit me into silence, one dimpled groove in his left cheek. He believes himself to be the sum of averages, but this shy humility makes him yet more irresistable to me. Even his flaws captivate me; his fumbling over words, his nervous blink, and the way he steeples his fingers...when stumbling upon something he doesn't quite agree with. And when he lies, the biting of his lip to signal some form of deceit, and his forehead furrows in earnest. He's a moving picture. Animated. Yes, I could watch him for hours...

(And that is all I have to say *laughs*)

Current Music: Fix You - Coldplay
14 January 2006 @ 03:01 pm
Dab, stroke, pause, and stroke again.

The soft bristles of the brush are lowered to the canvas, and sweep gently across the fabric. I listen carefully, as if it were music. His eyes are darkening again, and he shifts awkwardly in his seat. He stares hard into my face, and I acknowledge the soft lowering of lashes as he regards the shape of my chin. The end of his mouth perks upwards, and he licks his bottom lip. A flash of pink muscle over dry lips, lips which suddenly seem more important then anything else in the room.
I desire to look up, to the side, down, but know that it is forbidden. I am his painting, his model…a pawn in a vehement process far beyond my own comprehension. It does not matter that I can no longer feel the rest of my body, because it is my face that he paints. I wonder, am I just that to him? Indeed, I do not know, but the brush is still moving fluidly. I close my eyes lazily, wanting to give in to the stir of emotion threatening my senses. The bristles of the brush are so wonderful, I can feel them moving over my skin, painting me onto canvas and capturing the flush excitement in my system…

Do not move, Dwenach!

He doesn’t say it, but he need not. I can see it on the deep crease of his frown; the way his brush stops suddenly against the canvas. Tipping his head to the side, his eyes slide down my neck, and I swallow harshly. Muscles shift and change beneath my skin, and I see him mirror my own action. Is it desire I see then? A flicker of temptation in his eyes, darkening with the intensity of my thoughts. I find myself watching his fingers tighten on the brush, knuckles tense and skin wrinkling over bone. That slender and delicate piece of wood so utterly in his power.

21 December 2001 @ 02:01 am
Hmm....a rather interesting day - I still have the flu, and my nose is still red...*laughs* I was hoping to look pretty for my fiance' tonight, but I guess things are no longer in my favour! However, I have done all of the my Christmas shopping - went into London yesterday, armed with a long list and the most inappropriate shoes you could think of! Yup, my pink round-toe heels...the most lovely implements of torture that I have ever seen :) I also cleaned my horses' tack today - sat in the tack room for near enough three hours *mumbles* The coldest three hours of my life! And Lancelot is still lame...which at least stops him flirting with the horse next door ;) (Oh gods, yes, I admit it - I have a horse named Lancelot, who is as temperamental as his name suggests - however, he is a wonderful ride *winks*)

On a final note, thought I'd pop my Pride and Prejudice community entrance post on here - I don't know, it seems an interesting insight and take on my life :) The life...of a gentlewoman...oh, how I wish *puts her feet back on the table...*

Well, have a marvellous day everyone! And wish me luck for later - Rye comes home to me after being away for TOO long...

Name: Lady’ Natalia Atlee
Age: 21 years
Where is your estate?: I currently live with my fiancé, a Mr Ryan Beaumont, in a small house situated just outside London. Our home overlooks the Shere hilltops, on which a small and rather impressive church can be seen. If you chance to look upon it on a cold Winter’s day, you can see the frost gently caressing each stained-glass window, and kissing the leaves of the grand Willow. Stood moping over the rather crumbled and weathered gravestones…
Are you single or married?: As stated above, I live with the dear Mr Beaumont. We have spent several long years together, having finally found solace in each other’s company. Our relationship is a highly spirited one – and in the past, I have found men’s company and conversation rather dull and predictable.
May we enquire after your family? That you may, as they are a gentle folk at heart, although sometimes their reputation has been known to taint their prestige. My father, a Mr Stuart Howard Atlee, is a quiet fellow with a large and rather interesting character. He lives not far from here, and spends many hours sat drinking tea. Lost in his own thought and positively daring opinions. When he entertains, he much prefers to watch over his acquaintances. Although still quite young, he does not enjoy surprises of any sort…and responds to them…with…well, one would rather not speak of the details.
However, my mother is currently living a day’s ride from here. She looks after my fellow siblings, who are all growing into healthy young ladies and men. Fern especially, has a rather amusing interest in dirtying her clothes. I am happy to say, that she will be a rather spirited young lady…and will probably challenge my Mother more then the others have. May God bless her…*giggles *
What are your accomplishments?I am a reader and writer, studying to further my accomplishments in grammar and the arts of fictional representation. At the weekends, I spend many a long hour in the garden. Lost in my own thoughts and wonderfully idealistic fantasies…
What are your feelings on dancing? It is a beautiful action, partaken to liberate the soul and make one laugh. Indeed, I shall be honest here and admit to dancing whenever I can. Around the garden, along the hallways, and most importantly…at the balls. There is a certain inspiration, provoked by the sounds of joyous feet over the floor, sweeping and tapping to their heart’s content.
What think you of books? My adoration of literature grows stronger with every moment, with every breath. The eloquence and beauty of the flowing and imaginative word…it takes my breath away, and captures my attention fully. In truth, I could not live without the art of fantasy, for it inspires me in life, emotion, and sweet decision. Indeed, you must only take one step into my ‘estate’ to truly comprehend my love of the creative arts…
How would you react to a slight against either yourself or your family/acquaintances? I have a reputation for being sharp-tongued, which would no doubt prove itself if any such slight were to occur. In all truth, I am a tolerant and patient young lady, but I do not respond well to cruelty nor unfairness. My friends and family are extremely important to me, and so my strength of opinion of them would not easily be destroyed…
Do you consider the forms of introduction, and the stress that is laid upon them, as nonsense? I care not for an ostentatious introduction, nor for a show of lineage or reputation. A man or woman can prove themselves through loveliness of character, and of course…by a welcoming smile. If any wish to play around with fancy names or events, then I would indulge them…humour them…but a smile is a better path into my graces.
The country is a vast deal pleasanter (than the town), is it not? I have lived in both, and find the embrace of the countryside…far more appealing. Indeed, I love to watch the slow path of the changing seasons, the incarnation of trees and foliage as they spring so happily to life. The town, although remarkably amusing and cultured, is a place I stray only out of necessity…there is too much commotion.
Tell us something of your character: I fancy myself as a woman plagued with contentment. I am happy, comfortable in my life, but I find myself lost in fantasy at most moments. I often escape into the gardens, and to the local stables, to ponder upon such adventurous thoughts – swords, adventure, piracy, gentlemen who live by interesting conversation. I am also a great lover of horses, and so spend a lot of my time out riding in contemplation. One could say that I am a daydreamer, and will be found mostly with my head in a book.
Are you consulting your own feelings in the present application, or do you imagine that you are gratifying ours? My writing style is rather more eloquent then my spoken discourse – but I am honest. Each fact is true enough.
Which character would you most like to be considered similar to? Of course, Elizabeth Bennet is my obvious choice – she is beautiful, strong-willed, and a lover of life. I simply wish I had her undoubted confidence in approaching people…
Which character do you truly feel that you are most similar to? In the past, I have been most associated with Mr Darcy. Although quite a shock, it doesn’t seem all that unfathomable. I am often lost in my own thoughts, I do not respond well to large groups of people, and my opinions are a little too concrete for my own good. *laughs *</p>